How To Stop Caring What Other People Think of You
It happens, you are on your social media and all of a sudden out of a no where some troll comes along. Maybe you know them in real life or maybe it is just a troll. Either way, there are probably moments when someone says something to you or about you and it bothers you. A recent inquiry asks, how do you stop caring what people think? I feel like I have to defend my position all the time.
How To Stop Caring What Other People Think of You
It is implanted in our brains from the time we are babies. We want to please mommy and daddy. You will notice this with children. When you scold or praise them and it will create their reaction, this is human conditioning. This is how it starts. As we continue on our journey through life everything is gaged by someone else’s opinion. Job Interviews, peers, the media, school teachers and your family and friends. Everyone has an opinion about you and your life and most folks are happy to share it with you, good or bad. As humans the side that causes pain remains in your brain. We have to face the fact throughout life you have been approved, rejected, good or bad, smart or dumb. I think you understand, this is human conditioning.
Always Remember There Is A Flip Side Of Everything in Life
There is the flip-side to all things in life. Everything. Where there is good there is bad, where there is positive there is negative. We as human beings do not want to hear the negative and often retaliate or keep the negative conversation going in our heads. We are our own worst enemies as many people feel they must defend their positions when in fact what you should be doing is working on your own self worth. That means do not put too much weight on the good nor the bad of other people’s opinions. Just know it exists and that opinion can change based on what you do or how someone is feeling at that particular moment. It is a matter of perspective and perception.
Validation – Recognition – Rewards
The one thing all people want is validation, recognition and rewards. What you can do for yourself is recognize your good qualities and traits on your own. It is about being self aware and accept and or/change both the good and your flaws. When you can point out your own flaws, another persons opinion will not affect you as you may think. Self awareness is the key and being honest with how you see yourself will help determine how someone’s opinion will affect you!
If you get in the habit of uplifting others, praising others and not get into that self defeating chatter by combating someone whose sole intent is to hurt, to judge to reprimand, you will find that other’s opinions are just that. Nothing more than a opinion. You know what they say about opinions, Right?
Character Matters So Much More Than Opinions
Focus on your character, because that is the reality in life. It isn’t about what others think especially if they do not understand a subject or situation. Just be a stand up person and know there is a big chance that someone will still have something to say about it. If it isn’t you, more than likely it will be someone else.
Not everyone will agree with you and they shouldn’t have to and on the same hand you should not have to defend yourself either. Look at our media, think about what grabs our attention. Live your life because no matter what someone will have something to say about it. Let them. That is not your problem, your goal is to live your life and live it the best you can.
Defending Your Position
I say, Why bother? People will think what they want and you cannot control what others think, say or do. If you let it bother you, you probably have too much time on your hands unless it is someone who you truly value. The fact of the matter many times someone else’s opinion may prevent you from doing what exactly you need to do or want to do. Critics are a perfect example. They can hate something so much and yet the public loves it, then it becomes a hit. Remember that!
For example: I wrote a book a long time ago. I told some friends about it and they were in agreement, a statement that made me delete the book. Today I could kick myself and there is no way to get it back. They had compared my book to a movie that had come out but when I read the reviews and the synopsis, my book was very different. I don’t blame them ever..it was me, who deleted before I even read the reviews and synopsis of the movie. That was the moment when I realized I need to have thicker skin.
There is a quote I love:
“In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.” ― Anonymous
The Big Finish
Some people will love you and some people will hate you and some people just love to hate…focus on what matters…
Let it Go …Let it Go…Let it Go
Don’t fall into the trap of senseless debate, In most cases, it is about the WIN!!!
“I am self-propelled; fueled from within. I appreciate people’s opinions, but I’m not attached to them. I learned a long time ago that if I give them the power to feed me, I also give them the power to starve me.” ― Steve Maraboli
We live in a world where opinions flow so easily and sometimes the opinions can be quite hurtful. Don’t worry about what others say and definitely don’t waste your time explaining. My motto is, give them something to talk. BTW you probably just got someone else off the hook!